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I used to think that confidence would come when I could get everything to go right, and get myself to do everything perfectly. And of course I never could, so my confidence would come and go. Then I learned something from my dying Fall mum plant. I’ve often described myself as having a brown thumb; plants often die in my “care. ” But I still keep trying, and my latest, gorgeous burnt orange mum was making me smile every time I looked out onto my balcony. Then I went away for one, unusually warm weekend, after a very busy non-watering week, and I when I returned, the plant was…. well you can see, mostly dried blossoms.   I felt sad, and was about to toss it, when something inside said, “The leaves are still green. Why not see what we can do?”   So I put down some newspaper and got out my kitchen scissors, and sat down at my balcony table. And one by one (with a level of patience and quietude that I don’t often experience) I cut off each of the dried blossoms, leaving only a very few burnt orange ones, and lots of cut stems. And a few buds that still [] held promise.   I don’t know why exactly, but something about this process made me get out the old bottle of plant food drops that I never used. I added some to the water, and promised to keep the soil moist. Which I’ve managed to do.   Today, I count about 22 blossoms, scattered enough through the plant so that it makes me smile every time I look at it. this time, i got it right.   So what did I learn from my sweet mum? (that quite honestly I didn’t learn from my own mom , who didn’t know how to do this for herself or her children)? That my confidence in myself doesn't depend on getting it right all the time. Rather I can be confident that when I do get something wrong, and I will, there are steps I can take, and I will take them.   Look at the results of “getting it wrong, ” let go of judgement, decided to do what I can to fix it, do the best that I can, and let go of the outcome, trusting in the Life Force that is bigger than my mistakes.   I'm going to try this again!   Much love and many blessings,


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