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In my last post, I introduced you to our new video series: Zelda’s GoldStar Magic Minute: Making friends with your Inner Critical Judge. Tip #1 suggested that you ask you Inner Critical Judge to tell you her name. Now, here’s Tip #2 – Find Out Why She’s Being So Mean!   http://youtu. be/ckgwpqVGou4 Discovering that I developed my Inner Critical Judge as a way to protect - NOT torment - myself was quite an awakening. My father was a functional alcoholic who worked long hours; my "stay-at-home" mom was a talented, frustrated and angry woman who did the best she could. Unfortunately, her best included lots of yelling and hitting whenever she felt threatened by my not doing things head> exactly right. So I developed my Inner Critical Judge in an attempt to prevent as many of these violent outbursts as possible. "Zelda, " as I came to call her, stayed in my head long after the need to protect me from my mother was gone. Every thing I did was seen as a possible occasion to get in big trouble by not getting it right. As I came to understand how the old fight or flight response to outer threats like lions and tigers and bears became internalized in our nervous systems, I could see that Zelda really was trying to protect me from the consequences of my actions - or inaction. So if I ask, "Why are yo being so mean? I'm really asking, "What are you worried about?" She's usually worried about what will happen if I take - or don't take - certain actions. Often, if I can relax head>, and pay attention to what she's worried about, I can relax and focus and get things done. Head> but what if even knowing the consequences is not enough to move me? that when i need to check in with my scared little girl, or my inner teen rebel. More about [head>] those fun meetings next time! Much love and many blessings,


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